La O Na Makuahine
Doris’ house Japan.
Danny: Going to need a vest, vest please.
Steve: You don’t even know what my plan is.
Danny: This is true, but I know you, and any plan you have will involve me and serious bodily harm.
Steve: What are you talking about?
Danny: What I’m talking about, is that over the years our marriage has become predictable.
Steve: Catherine, I want you to help me find my mom.
Cath: I thought you told Witness Protection you wanted kept secret even from you.
Steve: Yeah, that was before I found out she had a chance to kill Wo Fat and let him get away.
Steve: Why do they always run?
Danny: Because I believe they hope the person chasing them ends up wrapped around a telephone pole.
Danny: Why did you boil his face off Max?
Danny: Did you hear about the art gallery robbery?
March: I’ve been here all morning!
Danny: That was not an accusation.
March: Sorry, habit.
March: As an aging man, my time is at a premium, so what brings you two down or did you just want to sit here posing as garage sale bookends.
Danny: You were very lucky back there my friend.
Steve: Sorry, lucky? First of all, luck had nothing to do with it, I had the situation under control.
Danny: You are something else, you must have known that our suspect was going to bleed to death while threatening to kill a hostage. Your good, you’re really go. Let me ask you another question, how much money is in my wallet, Kreskin or should I say the Amaaaazing McGarrett.
Lana I Ka Maona
Steve: That’s why our boat-jacker was in a dingy, he was fleeing a crime scene.
Danny: If that thing gets near you, you punch it in the nose. Trust
Steve: I’m not going to punch it in the nose.
Danny: You punch it in the nose or it eats your hands. I know these things.
Danny: Have you seen shark week? I don’t want to be on shark week.
Steve: It’s not a boat, it’s a dingy
Danny: I stand corrected; we are in a slowly leaking dingy!
Steve: Set the Hook!
Danny: Stop the backseat fishing!
Steve: Time out, I thought the mission today was to get you your first tuna
Danny: Why does everything have to be a mission?
Steve: . The goal was to help you catch an Ahi.
Danny: There’s no goal, there’s no mission; we’re just fishing. We have a couple of laughs, maybe we catch a fish, maybe we don’t
Steve: You know what? You are such a girl. Just turn around or something. Cover your eyes.
Catherine: Wow, thank you sugar daddy.
Kono: Okay, so let me get this straight. You believe in psychics but you don’t believe in ghosts.
Danny: That is correct.
Danny: So what, she breaks into your house and she starts cooking?
Steve: Yeah, pretty much.
Steve: What is this? What are these bags? You’re staying?
Doris: Yeah, is that okay with you?
Doris: Stop playin’ with your gun and come have breakfast.
Danny: Ok, it looks like the Manson family through a party in here.
Danny: What’s “The Notebook”
Steve: You’re going to hate it.
Danny: It can’t be that bad
Danny: A guy uses a knife with this symbol on it to cut out a girl’s organs; what does that mean?
Steve: This was a ritualistic murder.
Danny: True fact, nothing good has ever happened in an alley after midnight.
Cath: I’m not sure what sadder, that you use to use this lame movie to hook up with girls, or that it use to work.
Steve: I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I Ka Wa Mamua
Steve: It’s a proximity sensor; you have to stay perfectly still.
Danny: What if I can’t stay perfectly still?
Steve: This bomb is going to detonate and you and me, both are going to die.
Danny: Borrowed Time
Steve: What’s that?
Danny: I have to remember that all of this, the last 10 years with my daughter is all borrowed time.
Danny: Because of one day, my daughter will never know what it’s like to board a plan without being groped or harassed for 45 minutes.
Danny: So the question is, did he work alone or with someone?
Steve: No, terrorist don’t work alone, they work in cells. That way if one guy goes down, his buddy comes in and finishes the job.
Danny: You just said the T word.
Steve: Does this look like the end of something to you? Because to me this is just the beginning.
Max: If your excuse me, I’m short one right arm
Chin: Right behind ya.
Max: Oh, Mahalo
Kono: I’m Five O, they don’t have the password I do.
Toast: I can’t do this!!
Danny: Ok, plan B.
Toast: This is why you have a Plan B!
Toast: I can’t do this
Steve: Toast! Live long and perspire.
Chin: Looks like our kidnap case just became a murder case.
Steve: Stand down mom, it’s work
Doris: Did you just tell me to stand down?
Danny: I’m only going to say this once; you might be right about Olivia Victor.
Olivia: I was referring to your reading comprehension skills. Topped out at what, fifth grade level?
Steve: Don’t worry I have a dictionary standing by.
Danny: It’s a theory
Steve: It’s my gut.
Danny: Does your gut have any evidence we can bring to a prosecutor?
Olivia: You have some issues huh?
Steve: Maybe, but murder is not one of them.
Kono: So he was shot, burned, and hit by a car? Wow, this guy’s having a great day.
Ha ‘awe Make Loa
Danny: What are the odds I get her phone number?
Max: I know it’s not as elaborate as we had planned.
Sabrina: Max come here. It´s perfect.
Behati: Danny I really want to thank you for everything. And enjoy the time with your daughter. Little girls need their daddys. They grow up very fast.
Steve: You’re going to get your wish Cordova. You’re going to die, but you’re going to die in prison.
Cordova: Do it. I’m dying anyway. There’s nobody here. Nobody will ever know what went down. Call it self-defense.
Steve: There is no way I’m going to make it that easy for you.
Cordova: It’s like this or I go out the slow way. I’m tired of that option. So you pull the trigger or I will.
Chin: I reached out to an FBI contact that recommends we try vascular mapping.
Steve: What is it?
Chin: It’s when you isolate a suspect vain pattern and running it against the Federal database, just like a fingerprint.
Kono: Male suspect traveling on foot, south on Koka Street. What’s he wearing? Nothing, that’s right he’s bare ass naked.
Grace: I got something for you.
Danny: yeah what?
Grace: My wilderness survival patch. I want you to have it.
Danny: This is the best gift you’re every given me. Thank you. I love you so much.
Grace: I told you, you can do anything.
Grace: I talked to Lucy today. She’s happy to be home. She said one day she’s going to marry Uncle Steve when she grows up.
Danny: You’re not going to hold that against her.
Steve: How’s your arm?
Danny: It also hates camping.
Danny: You didn’t happen to see by chance which way they were headed before you go shot and blown off this cliff, did ya?
Danny: You’re going back with the girls. You’re not coming with me.
Madeline: Oh, and you’re planning on what? Finding your buddy with the power of your mind? You need me.
Danny: I’m pretty sure I don’t need you. Thanks though.
Madeline: Which ways north.
Danny: I know which way north is.
Madeline: Lie. How you start a fire without matches. How are you going to find fresh water? What if you run into a bear?
Danny: What. Bears? They got bears in there?
Madeline: The fact that you don’t know that reason enough for me to go.
Danny: I’m really, really, sorry that your camping trip got spoiled. I’m going to make it up to you, I promise.
Grace: What about Lucy?
Danny: I’m going to do my best, my absolute best to find Lucy.
Grace: I know you will. You can do anything.
Madeline: Alright ladies. Who wants to learn how to remove a bullet from a gunshot wound?
Steve: I’m going to teach these how to kill and gut a pig tonight Danny.
Danny: That’s actually a horror film.
Kamekona: You all can redeem your tickets as soon as I get my pilot license
Kono: Wait, wait wait? You bought a helicopter and you don’t have your license yet?
Kamekona: Technicality sister.
Steve: The kid’s a smartass.
Cath: Takes one to know one.
Steve: Sitting on the couch with a pizza watching Miracle on 34th Street is not a plan.
Danny: Christmas with the McGarrett’s is something you can miss.
Steve: That’s right.
Danny: I’m just curious, what do you do? Give out subscriptions to Guns and Ammo, grenades as stocking stuffers?
Steve: I like this kid.
Cath: Of course you do, he’s you at 13.
Danny: But being a law enforcement office, I do know a thing or two about tax evasion. So what say make it an even 170 and forget the whole dropping the price for cash conversion ever happened?
Fast Freddie: Deal.
Kamekona: Because the seller is a white guy and you both speak the same language.
Danny: You mean English?
Cath: I didn’t think we would be eating breakfast out of a box in a parking lot.
Danny: You hear that?
Steve: Yeah, Danny. I hear it. I’ve got ears.
Eric: Dude, why do you have so much ranch dressing?
Bullwinkle: Uh, because it’s DELICIOUS?
Eric: I’ll wait out here.
Danny: It’s college, it’s not a virus…you can’t catch it.
Eric: What am I supposed to do in there?
Danny: Why don’t you go meditate on the poor life decisions you’ve made?
Sang Min: Check these lapels, huh? Tony Montana style!
Olelo Ho’opa’i Make
Sang Min: You must have been a bad boy to end up here, lieutenant.
Chin: I didn’t do anything.
Sang Min: Yeah, that’s what we all say.
Danny: You missed the tasting, luckily.
Kono: That bad?
Danny: It was Spam wrapped in a sock.
Danny: You’re bringing back the ’80s with those Rollerblades. You got those Duran Duran cassette tapes?
Kono: You know, I’m going for a workout, keepin’ in shape…but I am hungry like the wolf.
Sang Min:The first time we met, you hit me across the face with an ashtray. Now that we’re even, you can trust me.
Chin: Who put me in here?
Sang Min: Someone who wants you to suffer before you die.
Hana I Wa’la
Danny: I had a pretty good life in New Jersey. And then, I came here. And it wasn’t exactly a fit. The sun, the sand…I mean, I can’t even get a decent slice of pizza.
Judge: Get to your point, Detective Williams.
Danny: Okay, I hate this place. I apologize, but I do. But I was willing to put up with it because this is where my daughter is. And now her mother wants to move again. And I can’t go through with that. Not to Vegas, not anywhere. Because this is my home. This is our home.
Danny: I thought nobody wore a tie in Hawaii.
Steve: No, they don’t, but it’s a special day, so I thought I’d wear one. Plus, I’m wearing my dress blues. They’ll make me walk the plank if I don’t wear a tie with my dress blues.
Danny: Why do they call ’em blues if they’re black?
Steve: I know they’re black! I never…I dunno.
Amy Davidson: You don’t get it, this is complicated.
Steve: Then speak slowly.
Danny: You delivered her to the congressman like a pizza.
Josh the Congressional Aide: And as far as murder goes-
Danny: Let me guess…he’s completely against it?
Steve: What’s the congressman’s position on dead hookers found in his bed?
Danny: STRANGLED dead hookers?
Steve: You got your belt on?
Danny: Of course I got my belt on, you’re driving.
Steve: What kind of sick bastard kills a cop in cold blood?
Danny: One with a serious grudge.
Danny: Keoki had a lot of friends, huh?
Steve: Yeah. Good men always do.
Danny: The fact is idiots, with guns, kill people.
Steve: You were worried about me?
Danny: Worried? I was worried about my car.
Doris: I suggest you try something with a little more fiber, cause you are clearly full of crap.
Danny: Hope you had a fantastic evening, the nice gentlemen with the hats and the guns are going to take you to jail.
Maggie Hoapili: No one could match my father’s abilities. No one would lay a hand on him, because no one could.
Mick: You told me to keep an eye on your mother.
Steve:: An eye, not a hand, not any other body part.
Mick: Kid, you don’t need a P.I., you need a therapist.
Cath: I don’t want to get in the way of your date with Danny.
Steve: It’s not a man date!
Kamekona: I just hate to see you two guys fight.
Danny: We’re not fighting.
Steve: This isn’t fighting.
Steve: Dungeons & Dragons for sports geeks.
Danny: I’m gonna let that awkward moment fade. We got a bar to go to.
Steve: It’s for a case.
Danny: A bar-case.
Danny: You got a Cowboys fan dating a Redskins fan…it’s like the Capulets dating the Montagues.
Danny: Work with you is harrowing enough. I don’t need you hunting me for sport.
Steve: I had no idea you were a fan of roller derby.
Danny: No, I’m not…my mother was. She thought a catfight on wheels was good home family entertainment.
Crimson Bride: Crimson Bride is my real name.
Danny: Oh, okay. Your parents big Denzel fans?
Danny: I’m not really getting anything from Crimson Bride, Dirty Damsel, Ivana Kiss, or any of the other ladies.
Steve: Ivana Kiss?
Danny: Yeah, her parents must be very proud.
Danny: Hey, Max, why are you turning our victim into a member of the Blue Man Group?
Steve: Okay, let’s be honest. We’re not exactly the Waltons. You’re a former spy who faked her own death twenty years ago…I got issues, Mom! I got trust issues!
Danny: Why would a tourist want to be put in a cage, and then dumped in shark-infested waters? It makes no sense.
Steve: Because they’re on vacation. They want some excitement, they want some adventure.
Danny: What they need is some therapy.
Steve: What did you think he was gonna do with a helicopter, Danny?
Danny: Park it next to his shrimp truck?
Danny: So they just go up to the shark and shoot him between the eyes? That doesn’t seem very fair.
Steve: Now you’re on the shark’s side?
Danny: We’ve been working on getting you a public defender, but no one can believe you’re this stupid.
Steve: Book him, Kono.
Danny: Oh! Where’s the love?
Frank Bama: What’s the world coming to when your first love survives missiles, gunfire, rocket-propelled grenades, and gets taken out by a bunch of funky birds?
Cath: Now that we’ve got that taken care of, how do you plan on doing this? Because all I’ve got is a pack of gum, some Dramamine, and a wry smile.
Steve: I’m working on it.
Cath: Steve, I’m going with you.
Steve: Absolutely not.
Cath: Well, I’m not asking for your permission.
Steve: It doesn’t matter, you’re not going anywhere.
Cath: Hey, look, let’s forget the whole John Wayne, “it’s too dangerous for a little lady” speech, okay? You’re gonna need support, I’ve done three tours of Kabul, and I’m just as qualified as you are when it comes to taking care of myself.
Steve: Yes, you are.
Cath. Good. Then you also know I’m not very good at taking “NO” for an answer.
Steve: You remember me? About three years ago, you put some bullets into a friend of mine.
Freddie Hart: Who packed this chute for you? It’s not gonna open.
Steve: It’s only six miles down, I’ll grab your legs.
Steve: Hart was just polishing the bell because he’s so motivated, chief.
Imi loko ka ‘uhane
Savannah Walker: Commander McGarrett, is he gonna make it?
Steve: I don’t care.
Savannah Walker: Hold on–for your information, I have a journalism degree from Northwestern.
Steve: Your professors must be very proud.
Savannah Walker: Let’s erase that.
Chin: That was Wo Fat. Wo Fat is a ruthless son of a bitch. W-can I say that on TV?
Savannah Walker: You already did.
Savannah Walker: How on earth did you get so tech-savvy?
Chin: Better call your insurance agent from the car.
Kono: Tell him you want full coverage.
Savannah Walker: You’re kidding, right? They’re kidding, right?
Savannah Walker: If you weren’t a cop, what would you be?
Chin: Jazz trumpet.
Savannah Walker: Really? Like Miles Davis?
Chin: Well, there’s only one Miles Davis. Maybe that’s why I became a cop.
Danny: Sinead O’Connor called, she wants her hairstyle back.
Steve: You know the good thing about hair? It grows back.
Chin: If you’re lucky.
Michael Noshimuri: He went to see Sato, didn’t he?
Kono: Who the hell is Sato?
Amanda’s Dad: The only thing worse than losing your daughter is losing her twice.
Ray Beckett: I want to see a warrant.
Danny: Shut up.
He welo ‘oihana
Michael Noshimuri: Chin Ho Kelly. My brother stabbed your cousin, right? I guess that makes us practically related.
Steve: Listen, three retirees launching a covert op? How do you think that’s gonna go down?
Steve: What happened to you, Mom? What happened to the woman who used to make fried bologna sandwiches, and was on the PTA, and showed me how to paddle an outrigger, and used to teach me magic tricks? Where’d you go?
Danny: I sort of thought we had something nice going, but if I can’t compete with sand storms and artifacts, I guess it was time to re-evaluate anyway, right?
Steve: She give you a reason?
Danny: A reason why she stayed in Morocco? Or a reason why she stood me up at the airport?
Aloha, Malama Pono
Steve: I’m thinking these five guys are government agents, and the killer is their rendition suspect–someone resourceful enough to be able to kill five feds and then land a jet.
Chin:That’s a serious national security threat.
Steve: Yeah, and now he’s loose on the island.
Steve: I’m giving you a chance to save a little boy’s life.
Wo Fat: And what’s in it for me?
Steve: The exercise yard. 15 minutes a day, you can see the sun.
Wo Fat: I burn easily.
Steve McGarrett: Don’t give me the ‘hurt feelings’ thing, Mom, because A. I don’t buy it, and B. I don’t care.
Steve: Did you just hang up on the C.I.A.?
Danny: No, I hung up on a schmuck…a gigantic schmuck.
Danny: Good, all we gotta do is stop an anonymous maniac who butchered five people from getting off the island.
Duke: I hope you know what you’re doing, Steve.
Danny: You know what you’re doing, right?