I know that there are a lot of quotes, so here are my faves.
Sang Min: What kind of cops are you?
Steve: The new kind.
Danny: Your apology is noted, acceptance is pending
Danny: We shouldn’t be doing this without backup.
Steve: You are the backup.
Danny: I am the backup. I hate him so much.
Danny: If a suspect dies, he loses the ability to speak. Ergo, he is useless to us.
Steve: This is densely layered ballistic glass, laminated onto a shield of resilient polycarbonate.
Danny: Why can’t you just say bulletproof.
Malama Ka Aina
Danny: Let me ask you a question. Are you literally insane??
Steve: Oh relax. It’s a cage for tourists. They’re harmless Galapagos sharks. They’re not meat-eaters. Joey doesn’t know that, though.
Chin Ho: You got her to use a military recon satellite and then you made a date?
Steve: I’m a multitasker.
Chin Ho: Impressive.
Mary: Can you stop staring at me like a hot-fudge sundae?
Mary: Big night last night.
Mary: Old House, thin walls.
Cath: Oh God!
Mary: Yeah! You said that a lot last night.
Danny: They teach you that in SEAL school?
Steve: Yeah, it’s called the using the Internet. People have been doing it since the early ’90s. You might wanna look into it.
Danny: I guess I was still playing Pac-Man.
Steve: Yeah? You ever get to the double pretzel level?
Danny: Triple banana, bitch.
Steve: You’re a liar.
Danny: Oookay, I got a daughter!!!
Steve: Don’t worry, I know these roads.
Danny: This is not a road! A road has asphalt and two lanes! This is dirt on a cliff!!!
Steve: You scared?
Danny: I’m not scared; I’m rationally concerned.
Danny: Okay… Let’s say I am you, and you are the bad guy here. I would know that all the ways onto the ship are visable somehow. So, how would you outsmart yourself and get yourself onto that ship without yourself seeing yourself?
Steve: OK, was that an actual question or were you just throwing words together and hoping they made sense?
Steve: I came to ask you questions
Danny: Oh yeah, well if it’s about the prom, I already have a date.
Steve: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around food?
Danny: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around armed conflict
Kono: Boss, I have a print kit in my car.
Steve: There’s no time.
Danny: May 18th, 1996!
Steve: What is that?
Danny: The last time I puked. Don’t make me break my streak.
Steve: You will not be sick in this car. You will not be sick in this car!
Kono: So, you deal with dead bodies all day, and your hobby is dead bodies?
Max: I also make pickles. It’s a good way to reuse specimen jars.
Danny: It’s okay? I know that you are trained to endure torture, but this is unbearable, okay? This is- This is not right. Songs this bad make people want to kill other people. Understand?
Steve: I think it’s catchy.
Danny: Oh! Whoa! Whoa! What the hell are you doing?
Steve: Probable cause. We were just doing a thing. I thought…
Danny: I meant we could get a key from the manager, you Neanderthal animal!!
Hana ‘a’a Makehewa:
Danny: Can I ask you a question? Why are you always driving my car?
Steve: I like to drive.
Danny: No. Rainman liked to drive. You have control issues.
Danny: I have a number of a therapist I wanna give you. Walk up steps like a human.
He Kane Hewa’ Ole:
Danny: You couldn’t walk him down the steps?
Steve: What’s in his hand, Danny? He drew his gun on me, okay?
Danny: It’s uh, gonna be your last chance to say it. Come on.
Steve: Book ’em, Danno.
Steve: You say I have a face. You have a tone. And it says, ” I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Powa Maka Moana:
Steve: What are you doing?
Danny: Buying a car. What’s it look like I’m doing?
Steve: It looks like you’re doing downward dog, but I know you don’t do yoga.
Danny: I’m stretching because my back hurts. Do you know why my back hurts?
Steve: No. Why does your back hurt?
Danny: Because I spent the morning pushing a car down the Pali highway.
Steve: Ah. Where I come from that’s called good exercise.
Danny: Where is that, Krypton? Where I come from, that’s called a worker’s comp settlement.
Steve: You gonna open the door?
Big Lono: Not a chance.
Steve: I’ll be back.
Danny: “I’ll be back?” He’s done a lot better, trust me. That’s all you can come up with is “I’ll be back?”
Steve: I’ve got something- I’ve got something good.
Danny: You see what you did? I don’t know what he’s gonna do. But if I were you: I’d run out the back, side, roof – go! A grenade? He has a grenade. Why do you have a grenade? He’s got a grenade. You see this? He’s not bluffing? He will pull the pin and blow everybody up. Will you trust me, please?
Big Lono: That thing’s not even real.
Steve: You gonna open the door?
Big Lono: No way.
Danny: What is wrong with you? You need help! I will pay for it!
Kono: Four year-college tuition, $200,000. Books and supplies, $50,000. Room and board, 25,000. [sees unconscious patron] Passing out with two cocktail olives up your nose…
Steve: Okay, I know what nothing means, so…
Danny: Nothing means, nothing, Stephen. I’m fine.
Steve: Don’t go anywhere I’m gonna be there soon.
Na Me’e Laua Na Paio:
Steve: Why would you steal this?
Johnny: I’ve always wanted to go to Paris.
Steve: It’s a beautiful city and if you go, you should pick yourself up a snow globe because that is Seattle.
Danny: That’s the Space Needle, not the Eiffel Tower!!
Steve: What did you just do?
Jenna: You mean with my gum?
Steve: Yeah, with your gum. This is a computer not your high school desk.
Danny: Hey, this is the CIA you’re dealing with here. They wrote the book on advanced interrogation techniques, which I’m absolutely positive you have sitting on your bedside table right now. Just so you know, I understand, okay? I would not mind a one-on-one session with Jenna Kaye, the thought does stimulate my imagination too.
Steve: Legally the CIA can only interrogate foreign nationals.
Danny: Why do you do that? I had my fantasy worked out. You’re like a devourer of dreams. You know what I mean. You like eat them. You’re like a little Pacman in cargo pants.
Ma Ke Kahakai:
Danny: Okay buddy, after you.
Steve: That’s for you, babe, I can’t get my cast wet.
Danny: That’s low. That’s really low. What exactly are we looking for?
Steve: We’ll know when we find it. So be thorough-
Danny: Be thorough, okay.
Steve: Yeah, check every fish Danny, every fish in the box.
Danny: You’re gonna pay for this. One hundred percent.
Danny: We had the Yankees. You and your old man had deep sea demolition classes or something.
Danny: We know who Jimmy Cannon is. What we don’t know is who Reggie Cole is going to be once he finds out who the leak is or if he tracks down one of the shooters.
Steve: Well, you were married, you have a daughter. What would you do?
Danny: Well I would want to just kill everybody, but I would never do that. I would not risk going to prison, I could not do that to Grace. You, forget it. I don’t even want to know what you would do.
Steve: Me? I would be by the book.
Danny: You would be by the book? Which book? The Patriot Act for Dummies? How to Nuke Your Enemies? War and Peace? Minus the peace part?
Danny: I’m going to talk to these models.
Steve: Okay, well just stick questions pertaining to the case.
Danny: What’s that supposed to mean?
Steve: What it means, is that I know you. Stick to the case.
Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau:
Danny: You’re telling me this guy is not from around here?
Grace: No Daddy, he lives in a pineapple under the sea.
Danny: What could be more Hawaiian than that?
Steve: Why don’t you just ask her out?
Chin: Miss Hills?
Steve: No, the Governor. Who do you think? Every time we see Laura she’s sexting you with her eyes.
Danny: Why are you dressed like a ninja?
Danny: All of those that think that is a certifiedly demented idea please raise you hand. Please raise your hand!
Jenna: Im new i Didn’t think I got a vote.
Steve: You don’t get a vote. And the rest of you are forgetting that the 5-0 is not a democracy it is a benevolent dictatorship ! Got it.
Jenna: That’s crazy.
Danny:: Welcome to my world.
Jenna: I like it. What do we do now?
Danny: Out of the top ten dopiest suggestions you have ever had this is number one with a bullet.